His name was Lucy
It was one of those dreams you have 10 minutes before you wake up to the alarm. Two fish; my fish; my black Betta named Mo and my Pink and Orange one named Lucy (it was a color derived name), swimming together in cool, dark blue water. It was soft and peaceful. Betta fish fight when they are together. I wondered in the dream why they weren’t fighting. Suddenly, Lucy was taken out to sea in a whoosh. I woke up.
I rushed around that morning to get my rabbit, Caila ready for the vet. She was getting spayed. I forgot to feed the fish. I glanced at Lucy’s bowl. There was something pink floating on top. I thought it was the orchid I put there week’s ago. I had forgotten I took it out. I think this is what some people call denial.
When I returned from the vet, I realized with a thud to the pit of my stomach, Lucy was dead—floating on the top of his bowel, representing some personal neglect of mine.
I fed Mo’ and wondered how to deal with it. I saw a movie where they flushed it down the toilet. So, I got a spaghetti strainer spoon and fished him out. No, scratch that. I gently picked him up and said I’m sorry. His eyes bulged. What happened? Was he sick? Did I give him bad water? He was decomposing. I flushed him.
He had attitude, this one. When I fed him, he would wait until I left to eat. Mo’ was different than Lucy this way, he was a pig-fish. But Lucy was very dainty in a way. Maybe he was a Metro-sexual fish. My friend Sage introduced me to this term. It means that everything about him looks Gay, but he’s straight. Maybe Mo was in love with Lucy, but Lucy was straight, and just before he died he gave Mo a little spiritual communion, which is why they were together in my dream. :) A girl can hope.
I feel bad about Lucy. When I told Dakota he just chewed on my hair. More for me... he seemed to say.
Dreams and death; spayed bunnies and metrosexual fish...This sounds downright biblical. Are you the Holy Land? What am I asking? I KNOW you're the Holy Land! Which means not just that there's more for me, but there's enough for all of us who love you so!
Posted by: Sage | 03/18/2006 at 09:17 PM